Energy

I was watching a YouTube video on Adwoa Aboah,she said something that made sense to me. She said she thinks she was born sad. I think I was born a sad person too and it manifests whenever it wants. I believe my aura is this sci-fi like ball of energy surrounding me and anyone who gets close to me is going to be affected in some way.

I have reasons to believe my energy vibes are quite different from most people. My friend tells me she can feel when my moods change, that my vibes are so strong you can feel them from a distance. Weeks ago when I was at home (it doesn’t feel like home anymore though) my mother came down the stairs and asked me if I was okay. I asked why and tried laughing and smiling. She said she just sensed something had changed and it showed on my face. I normally can’t fake my facial expressions and all the time I don’t know what my face is doing I just have to listen to my energy and I’ll know what my face is showing. I’ve had instances when I’ll get upset and I normally avoid confrontation so I stay silent. You will notice anyone who is around me will get affected and I honestly hate it.

I have become extremely self conscious about my energy. I try to avoid being around people because I don’t know when my energy will change. When I’m in good moods,definitely the people around me are okay and I am able to laugh and connect and make someone laugh and I can feel this lightness around me. Like I should just get a rope and start skipping because I am very happy. I say hi to strangers and make conversation,laugh with them and I wish them a good day.

The reason I am self conscious is because I can’t control my energy and I don’t want to affect anyone. I don’t want to make someone believe I have bad vibes as people say or I want nothing but good vibes around me and I go,” Well I better stay away from you because I don’t want you to read me wrong.” I feel things too much, I read into things unnecessarily, I am overly sensitive and all this plays into my energy. I can’t control it.

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