I don’t know how to start this post. So I’ll go ahead and say what I’ve been thinking about since my last previous post last night. I don’t like how my blog has turned into a negative space where I put what im going through. At the same time I do not have any other space where I can comfortably put up and share my not so positive experiences because I believe in sharing. Sharing stories and not being afraid to tell what is going on with you. No one is alone. No one goes through shit alone and I know it feels very alone while at it but I know I am relatable.
I am on autopilot. Watching movie after movie after YouTube video to distract myself from what is happening. I can’t let myself think. I don’t want to cry any more. I’m tired. My eyes are sore.
My friends have been in contact but I don’t want to talk. There’s nothing more to say. I have nothing left to fight for and my life is one of them. This feeling in my heart that it’s all done and the battle is lost..
Then again,with mental illness,theres the guilt that comes of feeling like there are those doing worse than you. There really are. And you make yourself feel more insignificant. The guilt is with me so I’m watching CNN and being updated on the battle for Mosul.